[.our willingness to wait reveals the value we place on the object we're waiting for.]

Now that I feel like I am far enough along...

I feel like I can let people know that Lance and I will have a wee in our family come March of next year!

August 9, 2012

I want to be able to document everything I can remember before I forget anything.

On June 23, Lance was at work and I took a test before taking a shower.  I waited for a couple minutes and the test didn't show any positive result.  I still had about 7 days before knowing for sure if I would be or not, so it was still pretty early.  But if you have ever tried to conceive before I'm sure you know the feeling of spending half your monthly income on pregnancy tests (not really, just feels like it).  So I got in the shower thinking I would try again in the next couple of days.  The second I got out of the shower I looked at the test and there was a second line that had shown up on the test!  I may or may not have squealed out loud.  I took a picture and immediate sent it to Lance saying, "Do you see what I see?!"  Right after I sent it I thought to myself, "Stupid!  Why didn't you suprise him with something clever in the next week or two?"  But it was already sent.  So he called me a little later that day and I asked him if he had gotten the picture I sent him, he said he hadn't, so I told him to check his phone again to make sure.  I waited for a second and he hurried back on the phone and all excited said, "Really?!"  I replied back, "I think so!"  We were both really excited and hopeful.

That same day I went into Paces to work and Sarah asked the second she saw me if I was pregnant yet.  I told her that the test I took this morning might have been positive.  Right after work I went down to my dad's house for Braydon's birthday and on the way down Jenna had asked me if I took a test yet.  I didn't say anything and she imimediately knew I was pregnant and told me to call my doctor right that second.  So I did and Dr. Spencer wrote me in a prescription that I was able to pick up that night.

I have been taking the progesterone hormone twice a day since then and will stop taking it in a week and a half at my twelve week mark.

I went to my moms the next day and as soon as I got to the top of the stairs she looked at me and said, "Ken. You are pregnant!"  I looked away and denied the fact completely telling her I wouldn't even know for sure for another week.  She knew.

A couple days went by and it seems like everyone I knew asked me if I had taken a test or if I was pregnant.

A small handful of people knew.  I emailed Jake the day I found out and when he responded (2 weeks later!) he had told me he had a feeling he would be meeting this baby.  That calmed my nerves immensely. 

Last Wednesday, Diet, Tim, Reagan, Lance and I went fishing up at East Canyon.  We were dog sitting Matt and Jacindas dog Koda and Lance wanted to show Tim a couple pictures and videos of the pups playing.  As I was sitting there I was looking at Lance hoping he would be recieving my telepathic voice in my head saying, "HELLO, STOP SHOWING PICTURES THE ULTRASOUND IS RIGHT THERE!! LANCE...LANCE..LANCE!!!"  I could tell that Lance went one picture too far by the look on both their faces!  I could tell by how excited they both were and Lance signaled to Tim to keep it quiet.  The next ten minutes went by and I could not stop smiling so I had to go sit in the front of the boat with Lance so I would not make it more obvious.  We didn't want to tell people for a couple more weeks, when I would hit the twelve week mark.

This last weekend we told our families that we would be expecting a baby in March 2013. I was 10 weeks along on Monday and I have, or I should say, baby has made it further than the last two pregnancies.
This time, as much as I haven't wanted to become attached, I have felt much more hope this time around.

I am actually having symptoms, which I am entirely grateful for.  It proves to me that the wee is still growing inside me.  There have been a few emergency freeway pull overs so that I am not losing my guts inside the car.  I've learned that as long as I keep something in my stomach about every hour that my stomach is much more willing to cooperate.

At our first ultra sound when I was six weeks and saw the little fluttering heart beat I almost got teary eyed.

I was amazed at our eight week ultra sound when wee actually looked like a person, kind of.  I atleast recognized a body with tiny arms and legs and a ginormous head.  I could even see little eyes and thought it looked like Leap Frog, Lance said it looked like a cinnamon bear.

Writing this now is actually the first time since the day I found out I was pregnant that I have tears about ready to fall down my cheek, I haven't been very moody and I am grateful or that.  At least I don't think I have been, Lance may think otherwise.

It is cute to see Lance's reaction to this whole experience.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that Lance will be an awesome dad.

I think it just hit me that our lives will be changed forever.

September 6, 2012

Well, 14.5 weeks along, hadn't thrown up in ALMOST 2 weeks and today it has already been twice.  Lance actually asked me if it is really that bad?  What the what?? Do you think I make this up babe?  YES, it is horrible, my eyes water everytime, as well as other uncontrollable things, and I sound like the baby is literally going to come out of my mouth.  So yes, it is that bad :)
BUT, I am glad that it is now every few days as opposed to every day, three times a day.

I can't wait for September 19!  Two weeks from yesterday we find out what our wee is.  I'm such a planner that I don't feel like we can do anything until we know.

It is kind of weird, some days I am starting feel like it is more and more real but then there are days (probably when I'm not so nauseated) that I don't think about it as often as I usually would.  Another reason I am excited to find out what we are having.

According to my apps (real reliable I know ;), wee is anywhere from 3-4.5 inches long.

I don't feel like I have a "baby bump" quite yet, besides the fact that I feel like my chub just sticks out further than before.

September 19, 2012

We were able to go into the doctor today for my 16 week appointment and tried to see the gender, but wee was a little modest and all we could see were crossed legs and a head.  Which I am perfectly okay with.  It was still moving and had a heart beat and I was happy.  The heart beat this time had decreased from always being at 180 bpm to 145 bpm.  I was intently watching the screen waiting to see any sign as to if we will be having boy or girl but we didn't see anything, the doctor just told us there wasn't an obvious sign of boy.  So now Lance really thinks he is right and still thinks it is a girl.  I've been convincing myself this whole time that we are having a boy, at least one of us will be right :)  I think it is the most aweful experience to get my blood drawn.  I had to do it again today and it is the worst thing ever.  Not that it hurts, but that blood that is SUPPOSED to be IN my body is coming OUT of my body.  I get light headed, my vision goes black and my lip starts to sweat.  I wish I knew how to control it better.  At least I had Lance there next to me so that if I did pass out he would catch me.  The nauseousness is starting to slow down and the heart burn it starting to catch up but at least I'm still feeling symptoms.  I can't tell if I have felt baby move yet or not.  I know that I am feeling "things" down low I'm just not quite sure what it is.

I am very grateful that things are looking the way they are.  I often wonder what would have happened if we hadn't got off birth control when we did and stuck to our original plan to try and get pregnant in June 2012 (which obviously happened).  I never question what our Heavenly Father has in store for us or why things have to happen the way they do, I have complete faith that He knows what He is doing and that His plan is the right one for Lance and I.  I know things will be different, I know our lives will change.  I also know that we will be as prepared as we can for that change come March 4th(ish).  I feel like it is forever away but I know the time will come quickly and I don't want to wish my days away, I want to enjoy the moments and what comes with it.

[.if you want to be happy, be.]

Around last April I fell in love...with a trailer.  Lance and I spent our summer looking for the best one for us.  The best fit for our future, within our budget, with our needs..and wants of course!
Neither of us are picky whatsoever ;) Ha.
I wanted a slide, with bunks and a LOT of storage!
Lance wanted a good price for a newer trailer..with some other things too, I guess.
Well after what seems to have been 100 trailers later, we kept going back to the one we originally had loved.  After Jackson we decided to get pretty serious.  We went back to Ed Kenley to talk to some people about "The Cougar".  If you know my husband you know that it takes him years, okay maybe only months, to make a decision when it comes to the big things.
I often give him crap for knowing how we knew to marry me.  If it takes him that long to make a decision on a car, trailer, motorcycle, etc. How in the world did he know to choose me for eternity!?
Anyway, the second I walked into this trailer again I told Lance it was ours, I don't care, it is!  For the heck of it we decided to low ball the bank to see if they would take our offer, they couter offered, we countered back and they accepted.  I was SO excited, but didn't want to act that way just incase something didn't work out.
Once it was hitched up to the truck and we were driving away with it, THEN I was really excited!
I know some people think we are crazy for buying these things we want, but I know that we will have many memories in our second home away from home and just that thought makes it well worth it!
Can't wait to take it out next week!

[.if you change nothing, nothing will change.]

Our Jackson trip always comes and goes so fast, but I still love every minute of it!
I spent quite a few days getting ready for the trip and spent all week looking forward to Thursday morning.
Couldn't you tell how excited we were leaving at 445 in the morning?
This year we had around 40 people in our group, both sides of the whole back loop was full friends and family that we knew and it was fun getting to know those that we didn't.
Most of us went on a bike ride and about 10 or 15 minutes in it started to down pour.

Our skunk stripes!

Proof: Lance really was there :)
One of the days there we were able to drive down a dirt road a ways and see a bear.  She is one of the 4 bears that we saw last year and she was eating on a carcass.

We made the usual trip into Jackson for a day to do some eating, shopping and to watch the BarJ show.

One of the days we went to String Lake to go canoeing.  I was a little nervous to take Ty with us but he did really well and liked to put his fingers in a water as we were rowing.


Right before heading home.  I seriously love the feeling of being in nature and enjoying time with those we love.