[.Totally True.]

So I came across this little article today at work.  I found it (1) to be absolutely [true] and (2) absolutely {funny}.

Any guy who doesn't understand their "woman" needs to be informed of this information.  But then again, us woman are so darn ... (I can't come up with a word to describe us) ... emotional, complex, over analytic, critical, pms-it-ive(?) that what simple minded man would ever understand us freakishly complex women?

The part I found funny was that girls actually know exactly what we mean when it's a soft sigh, or a loud sigh, or if our eye brows are raised or  just normal!!!  Yes guys, we expect that you know what every single facial expression means, and if you don't, we might lose it!

.So here it is.

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are
right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a
woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your
football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's
an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is
usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn
you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually
signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with
"Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over
"Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You
will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed
by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five
Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH

This is not actually a word,
but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud
Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders
why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over
"Nothing"

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that
she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will
stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to
a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard
before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's
Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a
"Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some
mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement, it is an offer.
A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or
reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have
a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a
"That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks
A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you
have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the
"Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud
Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"